Monday, 8 December 2008

For Once

I wrote some things that made me lol when I read them back. Unfortunately they were comments about somebody else's far superior feature, but still. I am posting them here for archival purposes really.

Some of my most memorable moments from childhood are of times when we went to (or near) Frontier Land in Morecambe.
Imagine living within walking distance from a theme park! It nearly made up for the fact that I grew up in Morecame. A dismal state of affairs.

The best thing about Frontier Land was the mascot - he was a big cowboy dog called Texas Pete - and he was plastered on everything as though he had his own cartoon film franchise. I had a Texas Pete pencil case at school. He was Morecambe's only hero.

The other best thing about this horrible, desolate wasteland of an amusement park was the "Texas Tornado" (looking back, most of the rides were called 'Texas' something or other. Probably even the Log flume, which actually got shut down because somebody caught salmonella from it). We loved the Texas Tornado, because it was in a state of reckless disrepair, and had no seatbelts or safety bars. You felt you had achieved something if you reached the end of the ride alive. Needless to say, somebody did fall off and die at least once a year. This isn't a joke, at least as far as I'm aware, at least one person did die on this ride. We used to talk about it with glee in the school playground.

And as for Fallout 3...I've been having dreams where I slow-mo blast someone's head off with my V.A.T.S because I need their Stimpaks. I really do understand that I need to find a life, but until going outside in the frankly, UNNESSESARILY cold, snow-covered bastard-pile that is Leeds is as fun as sitting in my house breaking into ammo boxes with bobby pins whilst very sick with radiation poisoning, I flat out refuse to.

I am very happy to see that Morecambe has been mentioned twice in this comment feed. Deservedly so. Crinkly Bottom disturbed me as a child, from it's corrugated iron "landscape" to it's cheap Mr Blobby stand-in. Once he fell over when he came out of his fibreglass lighthouse and I saw a human leg where Blobby leg should have been. From then on, my childhood innocence was gone.

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