Saturday, 23 May 2009

Della - Don't worry, it looks complicated but the men who designed it made sure even a woman could use it.

I've always wanted a laptop, but I always find that computer websites are far too complicated and manly for me to navigate round. All those numbers and confusing words - I mean, what exactly is a megabyte anyway? - I'd much rather just go out and spend my money on shoes. Luckily, Dell recently launched a part of their website called "Della", and it's just perfect for my womanly needs. Pink text boxes, nice friendly pictures of models in straw hats checking their emails, I feel much more at home. There's a big section on accessories too, which is great because what put me off having a laptop before was having to carry a big ugly case - now you can get laptop bags that look just like handbags! Perfect! Just right for when I want to take my computer to the coffee shop or on a weekend break.

Except that you can't log on to Della anymore to find great new accessories for your brand new portable ASOS machine, because Dell realised that it was a fucking TERRIBLE IDEA. Seriously Dell, a special little section for the silly little ladies? Are we living in the 50s? I know everyone absolutely bummed themselves into oblivion over Mad Men, but this is a step too far on the chauvanist train. Or whatever.

I sent a link to the Della site to a few of my female friends, and all of them showed similar signs of despair and general apathy towards it. This might say something about my choice of friends - after all, I'm a nerdy news geek with no real passion for handbags or accessories to speak of, so I don't usually associate with cheerleaders or "bubbly" types - but I'd like to think that at least 98% of the female population are capable and willing to access a normal computer website and purchase a half-decent laptop. I'm even willing to compromise, and suggest they get somebody who knows what they're talking about/looking for to do the legwork for them. But how does a company become so disassociated with it's target audiences that something like Della happens? I'm aware they were clearly trying to reach a new demographic of previously uninterested and possibly imaginary technorant (technologically ignorant - I made that up, did you like it?) airheaded yummy mummies and hair-swishing Starbucks window dressings, but I'm pretty sure it was the single-most misguidedly horrible idea since the invention of baked crisps. They clearly realised it was fuckawful too, hastily covering up the evidence like a hungover admirer rabidly clicking the "delete" button on a suspect email sent drunkenly to an unsuspecting piece of trouserlust. But we know it was there. And if you want to see what it looked like, go here, because several other people were just as irritated by the ridiculous idea as I was.


Teslas_codpiece said...

Aww, they took it down. Gutted.

On almost every page they had a 'comments' section and when it first came out I saw only one opening sentence from (presumably) the silly fucker responsible for this travesty. She was a woman, perhaps north of fifty who looked utterly out of touch with exactly what women these days want - not that I know either.

I returned a couple of days later to a barrage of hatred from the female community.

And for a minute... just a minute... it restored my faith in your gender. Heart-warming :-)

Teslas_codpiece said...

Hang about, Gina Q lives! Tracey L seems to have also joined the fold. Rejoice.

Not sure if it's just the US. I highly recommend the comments section though.

All in all, it's still a shite idea executed in the most piss poor manner possible.

And with that girls, I'm back off to the real Dell site which I now expect to be adorned with monster trucks and softcore pornography.

lidia said...


Martin Higgins said...

Hahaha..'bummed themselves into oblivion' Actual LOLling occurred.

Katie said...

I love the comments section. Thanks for bringing it to my attention Mr Codpiece (felt very odd to say that, I have to say).

Mr Codpiece. Hm. Maybe it's one of those things you have to say a lot in order for it to sound less strange.

Glad you enjoyed my witty satirycalism there Martin :p

Lidia - OMGZ lets totally go to River Island I saw some stickers that make your electrical and IT stuff look prettier and less scary. Technology fwightens meee!

xthemusic said...

I was totally hoping this was a i was let down by that!

This is the exact sort of thing Focus Groups are for. I would put a shinny pound coin on the fact they didn't bother.

Katie said...

If there was a focus group, it was clearly the most floral, wet blanket-y focus group ever envisioned by anyone.

mkb said...

That is genuinely awful. Not your blog, but uhhhhhh seriously Dell what have you been smoking?! Still, if they make a laptop resembling a pair of boobs, I probably would buy it.

Katie said...

That's because you're a disgrace.

Andy said...

Well, at least they didn't hire some hammy actor to stereotype the fuck out of the youth market...


Katie said...


Who makes a video for their parents while they're stoned?
Idiot boy.

"Intel pentium 3? AWESOME!" hah

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