Thursday, 4 February 2010

Valentine's Gay - Hah, see what I did there?

Not that there's anything bad about being gay. I was just being childish. Ho hum.

Doodling around on twitter amongst other things (trying to unscramble my head enough to get some essay proposals done, trying to sort out finances, trying not to have panic attacks etc etc) it occurred to me that Valentine's day is not very far away. If you know anything about me, you'll know that I am terrible at remembering dates. I still don't know my own Mum's birthday, and the only reason I remember my anniversary is because it is 3 days after my birthday. So, Valentine's day doesn't really register in my "What's Important" bulletin board at the front of my mind. In fact, it barely registers at all, even on the day. Yes, as a fully paid-up member of a "relationship" (look at me putting quotation marks around it - what kind of a person is so insecurely self-depracational [word? It is now] that they do that type of thing?) I give and receive a card, and yes, it is admittedly nice to go "aww" and think how nicely nice everything is. But then I'm a total happy bastard, and that's what people like us are supposed to do. We go "awww" and look all mushy-eyed and listlessly content simply to annoy passers by. I know that's the only reason I'd ever partake in any public display of affection. It's disgusting, and I hate it when other people do it. There is NO NEED.

So, what right have I got to hate on Valentine's Day? Well, I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to say "it's just a way for greetings card companies to make money" because that it what idiots say. Idiots who wear Che Guevara t-shirts and parade around with hemp shoelaces and second-hand underpants. It may well be, but that's like saying "healthy eating was invented by Tesco so that we buy more fruit and veg". It doesn't matter if they did or not, the point is that it is now an intrinsic part of our society that if you so much as dare look at a Findus Crispy Pancake your kids get taken away from you and you end up on Fat Families (Sky 1, fairly good show actually). It's the same for V-day. Whoever made it up is irrelevant. No matter what your beliefs on the subject, if you forget about it, so help you God your significant other will crush you like a leftover strawberry Quality Street that fell down the side of the couch. If you don't have a significant other, grand, you don't have to worry about it. Unless you've got one of those annoying friend-sort-of well...we-slept-together-once type people who claim to not care if you don't get them a present, but actually they do and they go all cold towards you for ages and ages because of it. (Word of advice - get them some alcohol and call it an "Anti Valentine's present. Everybody wins, plus you can forget and give it to them later. Covers all bases.) You need to vaguely remember it, like an awful night you'd rather forget. It reminds you why you should never drink Sambucca ever again. So to speak.

I don't hate Valentine's day. What I hate more are the growing number of people claiming to hate it. It's like Christmas - people say they hate it because it's trendful (I really hate the word 'trendy'). People have anti-valentine's parties and exclaim "ROMANCE IS FOR GAYS!" (pardon the expression). Shut up. Let the soppy people get on with it. Nobody is flaunting it in your face, you're just super emotional and paranoid. As a girl who actually couldn't give a shit about it either way, I'm saying c-a-l-m d-o-w-n. It's actually just an excuse to get pissed. So go and get pissed.

I am aware that there are a lot of people who dislike Valentine's day simply because it's lame and covered in pink Lenor-smelling hearts. Fair play. If you dislike it, but would still like some post, I am willing to send HAND MADE cards to people, complete with a pessimistic and generally insulting message inside. Want in on the action? Hell yeah you would. Send me your address and I'll get on it. No purchase necessary, preferred people may get better cards than others.


Jamrock said...

"who dislike Valentine's day simply because it's lame and covered in pink Lenor-smelling hearts."

I laughed so much at that I almost weed a bit.

Katie said...


TheUnwashedMass said...

I was gonna say: "if you think valentine's was just made up to make money for greetings card companies; make your own cards!" but you pretty much covered that.

I remain stoically cool and indifferent about the valentine's phenomenon but if I did get a card, I would do the happy dance. In private.

Katie said...

Even one of my cards?

"You are 4.3% less disgusting tham most humans - Happy Valentine's Day"

Saxby123 said...

I tend to ignore Valentines Day and only spit venom at people when they ask me 'what are you doing for valentines day?'. As if this is the ONE day I have to prove my love and the other 364 are just a bonus.

Katie said...

Yes, but noteverybody can be as suave and romantic as you, my dear Dansax

Bailey's Beads said...

I just hate it that stuff like this needs a special day. Don't tell me when I should or shouldn't be doing/celebrating things.

Mike said...

I agree totally on the hate-the-hater aspect of Valentine's Day. It's like New Years and St. Patrick's Day and even bank holidays, it's just a good excuse for a day off to chill out, go do something interesting, sit in the park, go out and get drunk, whatever you want. I don't get why people are so pissy about it - you don't have to buy all the presents and champagne and roses, just go hang out with the person you love, and have an awesome day... surely that's preferable?!
Sometimes it's hard to find time to spend a day with just you and your significant other, if nothing else i think Valentine's Day is a good reminder to do it more often.
I do think a lot of people are very uptight about romance/sex/love, not sure why that is but i think Valentine's Day makes some people freak out a bit and overcompensate, either positively or negatively. In fairness, if a realtionship needs a ton of naff expensive red and pink junk to validate it, then, you know...

Katie said...

Yeah, personally I get nervous when there's a date to remember because i *ALWAYS* forget any date a should remember, completely by accident, and upset everybody. But I like the fact that there's a nice day in an otherwise grim month that lets me get something nice for a person/persons and eat a nice meal and generally act a bit smushy.

Thanks for reading :)

mr bear said...

I think a lot of people just don't want to feel like they are a part of the system.

I know that when I go round my sisters and there is a Valentines card from her daughter to her partner, I do get annoyed at her accepting things without questioning them and her teaching her daughter that material possessions are as, if not more important than a genuine gesture. If I got a card I would be really really chuffed about it, but if it was off my boy/girlfriends child then that would be a different story, that is just materialism at its worst.

(Sorry went off on one a bit there). That would be a reason for me to not want to be a part of the money generating system, but I am a easy going chap, I say live and let live, it doesn't do me any harm my for a card to sit on my sisters mantlepiece with my neice's name on.

I sent a valentines card once, it didn't work. Hmmm (lol)

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