Thursday, 11 March 2010

Twinterviews - Meet the Twitterati: DRUNKHULK

Wouldn't it be nice to ask your favourite twitterers questions about life, death, the celebrity solar system and what the best sandwich is?

Introducing the first in a new feature I'm trying - Twinterviews: Meet the Twitterati is a tongue in cheek look at the silly sods who keep the twuniverse spinning round, 140 characters at a time.

Today, meet @DRUNKHULK in his first ever interview. He's loud, he's drunk, he's got outspoken views on central government, and he's green. Just don't tell him happy hour finished 6 hours ago.


Hello Mr Hulk, how are you?

HELLO! DRUNK HULK GOOD! THANK! DRUNK HULK FEEL STRANGE! THERE NO 160 CHARACTER LIMIT! DRUNK HULK FEEL PROLIFICABLE! LIKE JOYCE CAROL OATES!



What's been driving you to drink this week?


LET SEE! PUBLIC OPTION: FINAL SHOT: PART 6: FINAL CHAPTER! NEW YORK SALT N’ PEPA BAN! EX CONGRESSMAN TURN INTO GROPY MARGOT KIDDER! MAN MARRY PILLOW! CRAZY ECONOMY! DRUNK HULK NO GET OVER FACT LIFE BECOME LOST MAX HEADROOM EPISODE!


Where do you get your reinforced drinking vessels from? Or do you just drink out of normal glasses *very* carefully?


DRUNK HULK LIKE YOU! DRUNK HULK PUT DRINK IN MOUTH ONE SHOT AT TIME! LIKE ALL PEOPLES!


Where is your favourite place to drink?


DRUNK HULK LIKE DRINK AT CHILIS! THEY STUPID! THEY HAPPY HOUR 10 HOUR LONG! IT LIKE DRINK INSIDE TARDIS!

What is your favourite drinking holiday? Mine is Christmas.

CINCO DE MAYO! DRUNK HULK NO WAIT TO NOVEMBER TO CELEBRATE AGAIN!


Over the months you've changed from making funny comments to make people laugh, to making funny political commentary that makes people laugh. Why did you decide to use your powers this way?

DRUNK HULK NO MEAN BE POLITICAL! REALLY! DRUNK HULK INTEREST IN POP CULTURE! AND THESE DAY! IT ALL SAME! ONCE PEOPLES REALIZE POLITIC NO ENTERTAINMENT! THEN MAYBE THEY TAKE IT SERIOUS AGAIN! DRUNK HULK LIKE TALK ABOUT ALL THINGS!


Who do you go drinking with?

DRUNK HULK DRINK WITH ALL PEOPLES! DRUNK HULK EQUAL OPPORTUNITY DRINKER!


Which celebrities make you angry?

CELEBRITY NO MAKE DRUNK HULK ANGRY! WAY PEOPLES REACT TO CELEBRITY MAKE DRUNK HULK ANGRY! ALSO NO LIKE WAY PEOPLES WILLING ACCEPT ANYONE AS CELEBRITY! WHEN PEOPLES SET BAR LOW! ANYONE BE FAMOUS! EVEN FICTION DRUNK VERSION OF FICTION PERSON!


What did you do to vent before twitter?


BEFORE TWITTER! DRUNK HULK RELAX BY SOOTHE REPETITION OF PITFALL! WHEN ATARI 2600 BREAK! DRUNK HULK DISCOVER THE TWITTER!


Are you a superhero? Or are you just always in the right place at the right time? Or do people needing your help just always get in the way while you're in the middle of a bar crawl?

TINA TURNER SAY ALL CHILDRENS SAY THEYS NO NEED OTHER HERO! SO DRUNK HULK NO HERO! AS FOR PEOPLES! THEY ALWAY IN WAY! HEMINGWAY SAY THAT ONLY THING THAT SPOIL DAY IS PEOPLES! DRUNK HULK AGREE!


Please use this space to speak about something that has been getting on your nerves recently.

DRUNK HULK ANNOY WITH LARRY KING SHOW! DRUNK HULK APPRECIATE SHOW ASK HARD HIT QUESTION! IT JUST ANNOY DRUNK HULK THOSE QUESTION COME FROM CALLER! AND NO LARRY KING! ALSO! ANNOY SALMA HAYEK STILL NO MARRY DRUNK HULK!


Any final thoughts or wise words?


NO BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLES INTEREST IN DRUNK HULK! DRUNK HULK FEEL LIKE PENELOPE WITH ALL SUITORS! IT MAKE DRUNK HULK FEEL PRETTY! DRUNK HULK THANK VERY MUCH FOR SUPPORT! ALSO! SPECIAL THANK TO PEOPLES AT MARVEL! FOR THEY PATIENCE WITH DRUNK HULK! ALSO! SORRY DRUNK HULK SO LOQUACIOUS!

So there you have it - a big green man with an appetite for tequila, and an especially unique talent for using capital letters as what they were meant for; really, really funny things, being said in a loud voice over the internet.

Join us next time, where there may be another made-up star, or a real-life legend. Who knows? This is twitter we're talking about after all...

5 comments:

TeelaUbiquitous said...

Seriously, my twitter checking was a tenth of what it was before i started following DRUNKHULK. Thank you DRUNKHULK. You make my alcoholism seem so much less raging.

Daryl Surat said...

I'll admit, my heart broke a little that time DRUNKHULK said mean things about The Expendables, calling it a bad Sylvester Stallone comedy. But then I remembered that's just the liquor talking.

Victor's said...

FIRE BAD! DRUNKHULK GOOD!
https://twitter.com/victorsmonster

Lauren Loves... said...

haha DRUNK HULK is a legend! IS DRUNK HULK A DRUNK HUNK? XX

Katie said...

hahaha I dunno Lozzer, why don't you ask him?

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