Monday, 27 September 2010

Supreme Master and the Breatharianists

If you've got Sky in the UK, turn over to channel 835. "Supreme Master Ching Hai" is a property magnate and designer from Taiwan who has channelled some of her money energy into creating a TV channel where she spreads the word of the Quan Yin method - a type of Buddhism.

Ching Hai herself has been criticised by leaders of the Buddhist faith for her ostentatious dress and money-making schemes, along with several strange appearances in public (one in particular was on "Ching Hai" Day, where she was carried aloft on a throne wearing regal robes, said to have been suggested by God himself). Her followers however, number in the region of 20,000 worldwide, and are drawn to her policies on peace, love, and veganism.

The nightly news is what attracted me to her show. Headlines such as "Koala Bears are still cute, and eat bamboo" have the ability to stop you in your tracks (with or without the added bonus that Koalas do no such thing). Seemingly endless stories about schools opening and animals being saved from trees, translated into 12 languages and with ten minutes of options for viewers who's mother language has not been catered for once the news finishes, is quite a sight to behold. On a backdrop of a rising sun, Ching Hai appears occasionally to spread a sentence of wisdom. This wisdom is the type of words-in-a-line wonder that makes you go "wow" when you're drunk and you hear it in a song at 2am.

Don't just take my disparaging remarks as fact though - visit her website, enticingly named http://www.godsdirectcontact.org/ or perhaps you might like to buy some of her heavenly items at thecelestialshop.com - remembering of course that one of the essential pre-requisites of being a successful Buddhist is to disregard your earthly possessions. A $1,500 diamond necklace doesn't seem too helpful as a heavenly purchase, when you come to think about it.

It's all too easy to sit and pontificate about how self-proclaimed religious leaders are a danger to people of a certain unstable or needy disposition, but perhaps if believing in Ching Hai makes people happy, they should be left to it. There is that school of thought, of course. Once you discover the extreme lengths scholars of the Quan Yin method go to in order to achieve great enlightenment, however, the more tolerant in society start to shake their heads and boiled with rage.

Breatharianism, Aquarianism and Fruitarianism are three types of religious control and abstention, portrayed in an extremely positive light on the Supreme Master TV channel.

[Supreme Master Ching Hai, presumably on the phone to God]

Breatharianism, for those who aren't aware of this "phenomenon", is the practice of giving up food entirely, and surviving only on air and the energy found naturally in the world. Aquarianism is the practice of living solely on air and water.

I wonder if you've fully taken in how absurd the last two sentences I just wrote are. "Surviving only on air and the energy found naturally in the world". Breatharians and Aquariums (I couldn't resist) therefore believe that sunlight and being near trees can sustain them enough for them to live a normal and healthy life. Not only to they believe this, they encourage others to follow suit. Warning messages on the show claim viewers "should not try to live a life without food without competent guidance".

"Competent guidance". Wiley Brooks is a breatharian tutor, and displays his teachings on the website www.breatharian.com alongside links where you can donate money to his church of ascension. Brooks subscribes to the idea that a human can live a full life in a non-polluted atmosphere without the need for food or liquids. As a sort of two-for-one deal for non-believers, he also believes food came down to earth in the form of an intergalactic ice-cream, used by aliens as a celestial drug.

When asked then, why he had been pictured on holiday with a MacDonald's double cheeseburger meal and a diet coke, he responded with this amazing paragraph of what-the-fuckery:
"DO YOU KNOW THE BASE FREQUENCY OF THE DOUBLE-QUARTER-POUNDER WITH CHEESE MEAL FROM MCDONALD AND DIET COKE?
DO YOU KNOW THE BASE FREQUENCY OF THE 5 MAGIC WORDS I GAVE YOU?
DO YOU KNOW THE BASE FREQUENCY OF ANY WORDS AND THOUGHTS AND FOODS?
DO YOU THINK , NOW THAT ARE AWARE OF THIS INFORMATION, YOU WOULD, IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, EVER THOUGHT IT MIGHT ALL BOIL DOWN TO WHAT YOU SAY AND THINK AND EAT?
"IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE WORD, THE WORD WAS WITH GOD, THE WAS GOD’ .or something like that. I’ll get the correct quote in time
"THE BEST WAY TO A MAN’S HEART IS THROUGH THE STOMACH".
"YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT"
The secret in the diet coke is the "LIQUID LIGHT" Duh!!!!
The type of plastic and quantity of it combined with the diet coke equals the base frequency of its liquid light.
I know that was a long answer, but what can I say?"

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm watching Supreme Master's TV show. Somebody needs to debunk the items of "news" that she plays. I just hope nobody gets hurt by these displays of complete moronity. Just in case you were wondering, any breatharian who has been subjected to scientific analysis who has not given in to eating food for sustainance, has died.


Is there a religious PCC I can call?

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