Sunday, 27 February 2011

Dream School

Kids on TV are either one of two distinct species.
  1. Drug-addled fun-tornadoes trying to shag their way through college via a procession of suspiciously clean candy raves;
  2. Terrifyingly angry ganglanders hell bent on destroying Authority and sourcing fags and booze.
It's no surprise then, that Jamie's Dream School is attempting to tame these wild, unknowable beasts into real human beings by attempting to nurture their intellect. They're just children, after all. They aren't lost causes, they can still awaken the Paleontologist inside them.

A noble endeavour indeed, but I for one am not wholly impressed (shock horror). I am fully on board with the idea, don't get me wrong. A dream school is a lovely idea - Simon Callow teaching English? Alastair Campell teaching Politics and presumably inventive ways to verbally destroy people? Great! I want to watch this TV show. I wish I could take part in this TV show. However, seeing more has made me change my mind. Witnessing a gobshite little fuck shout "You're like, 4 feet tall man! You always been that small?" at David Starkey is not something I want to be party to. How dare you, you little shit. Show some fucking respect.

Picture courtesy of the School for Social Entrepreneurs


I do realise that harping on about respect and manners compounds that (highly undesirable) image of me being an old moaning minnie in a tweed suit and pince nez, but in this case I am not going to apologise. It's really not cool to shout at David Starkey. Not cool at all. Why should little bastard like that chubby adolescent waste of space be given the chance to go to Dream School, when good kids who are just bad at school, who don't make quite as good TV admittedly, don't. It doesn't seem very fair. I was terrible at school, I hated being there, I hated going to lessons, I hated the structure, but I was good and well behaved. I was rarely in trouble except for stupid reasons like talking in class (I find it hard to tell when it's appropriate to lower my voice - embarrassing) or being cheeky (harmlessly cheeky, might I add. Again, this is a misjudgement on my part about appropriateness. I take things too far). I liked learning though, and Dream School would have been...well, a dream, for me. Kids like me don't get extra help though, because we aren't dangerous or scary, and we don't cost a lot of money in special requirements or learning tools. We don't need grants from the government, so schools aren't that arsed that we are nowhere near reaching our potential. Missing maths again? Just leave her, she'll be in the music department. She's not going to pass anyway, just leave her to it. I know I'm not the only person who found school a bewildering and generally unsupportive place to be - nearly everyone I know says a similar thing.

I'm not slagging off teachers, I'm just saying. School doesn't work for everyone, and it never really has done. The point I'm trying to clumsily make, and remember, it is Sunday morning after all, is that just because some kids are scary potential murderers doesn't mean they should automatically be given more care and attention than the rest. It'd be great to see the middle kids who do everything they can not be noticed get a little bit more support. Perhaps then we'd have more enthusiastic scientists, brilliant writers and talented doctors instead of thousands of data entry clerks on the dole.

2 comments:

Simon said...

Bloody right too. I'm not saying effort on under achievers and potential ne'er do wells is wasted, but it would be good to see the potential of decent kids unlocked. They are the forgotten majority and it's wrong, wrong, wrong.
Am I becoming too empassioned now - I had better stop.

Katie said...

There has never been any reason to stop being empassioned, Simon.

Unless you're empassioned about racism or killing kittens, in which case I'd advise you to calm down a bit.

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