Wednesday, 23 February 2011

The wonder of Nords

Some people wax lyrical about a frosy winter's sunrise, or the smell of a pine forest. Some people write poetry about the colour of the sea, or paint pictures of abstract shapes, of longing, and regret. Not me. I regret to inform you that my chosen outlet for soaring soulful joy happens to be periodically talking about how much more attractive people from Northern Europe are, and then gazing at pictures of Royksopp until somebody (namely @dollydave) introduces me to a new ice-eyed, wide-cheekboned outdoorsy-looking man, with windswept razor-cut hair and a serious look on his face. Then I start all over again, thinking about padded lumberjack shirts and fjords and the northern lights. Of course, only about 15% of Scandinavian men could possibly fit within this very precise stereotype, but I would rather not think about the 5'2" 3rd generation Italian man who works in the city as an estate agent - nor would I like to be brought back to reality by the sudden thought that perhaps most men stolling around the beautiful streets of Gotemborg have sensible short haircuts and wear suits, and spend their days wishing they were on a beach instead of a HR office. I don't like that. Stop infecting me with reality. I let you look at pictures of Christian Bale as Batman. Leave me alone.

This post is therefore an homaaarge to them, the quietly devastating chaps from accross the North Sea. May their faces always remain slightly cold to the touch from being outside just about ten minutes ago.

This is actually what Vikings looked like. I am not surprised we got "invaded". That was meant to sound a lot more innocent and jocular than it actually did. (This is actually Royksopp)

This is Alexander Skarsgard. I have never seen anything he has been in, but he is very good looking. Hopefully when my novel gets made into a film he will play Jedrzej. He would have to shave his hair off then, however, which would be a great shame.
This is Andreas Wilson. He has the golden combination of having excellent cheekbones, while also looking slightly Polish.
Varg Vikernes was in prison for 15 years for murdering his bandmate, and is a total racist bastard. Would you believe that by looking at this picture? No. (It is true though. Some of the Norwegian Black Metal Scene is/was fucked. Up.)
This might be the loveliest picture taken of anybody, ever. It's Olafur Arnalds. Look at his scruffy hair.
This is also Olafur Arnalds. I didn't think it was fair that his whole face didn't get a full viewing.

This is another picture of Alexander Skarsgard. It's my blog, and I'm allowed to do whatever I want.

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