Thursday, 18 August 2011

Nice Girls Finish A+

Pretty people are more photogenic. Were you aware of that? I certainly was this morning, when hundreds of blonde girls bounced with joy over their satisfactory A-level results. However, I also got pretty fed up of people noticing that thousands of blonde girls were bouncing with joy over their satisfactory A-level results. So what? Surely the prettier people aren't averse to having their picture taken, while the rest of us normals shy away from any unwanted attention. Netball captains and debtate club leaders probably want to represent their school in the paper anyway - regular shuffling nerdoids tend to dislike school as they are treated with little more than contempt, and so would not like their picture taken for the Local Bugle, ta very much. I hid in the common room until they left.

The lovely @philthD has kindly agreed to write a guest poem on this phenomenon of pretty clever birds and annoyed people watching the news. Enjoy.

don’t focus on the fact the sample’s self-selecting
“celebrating students” features are infecting
the coverage of every media outlet
so naturally we need to rage and rant about it
pretty girls have no problems so they’re fine for targeting
laugh at how they’re being used and sneer at sleazy marketing
each excruciatingly staged jump for joy is sickening
(just ask this average boy who’s so upset the papps aren’t picking him)
persecute the pretty, damn the dainty, curse the cute – if all
the bloggers bellow bile enough we’ll banish all the beautiful
cos there’s just one type of student that the papers and tv
and the schools think that the public want to see
and it’s all their fault
all their fault
yes it’s all their fault for looking good

the trouble is

any population’s built of individual brains
(at least when i was at school – and i’m sure it’s still the same)
the kids are much less uniform than schools like to maintain
and there’s a certain sort of student who is always to the fore
who’s popular with students and who all the staff adore
because they know how to play the game and what it takes to score
who loves to be involved and who thrives upon attention
always the first to volunteer, always the first one mentioned
when a model student’s needed and therefore by extension
their faces are the public faces of the institution
(which is not to deride others’ less visible contribution)
they’ve faced too little chronology to suffer involution
(that’s a fancy was of saying they’re too young to lose their looks)
there’s enough correlation to imply it’s not a fluke
there’s a link between their prettiness and the confidence that took
them to the place they hold within school community
they take pride that the school would offer them this opportunity
whereas someone like me would see it as an importunity
whereas someone like me has always shied away from photos
whereas someone like me is not the kind of guy you’d go to
whereas someone like me is not the king of thing you’d show to
demonstrate the happiness your schooling can provide
when mine never left anything but emptiness inside
and there were countless reasons why I would sooner hide

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