Saturday, 7 January 2012

And We All Remember Blackbusters Fondly

(NB. In order to fully understand this article, you must first familiarise yourself with Ed Milliband's hilarious typo incident that happened on the 06/01/11 on Twitter.)

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Poor Erd Mullibong. First we compare him to Mr Bean, and then we don’t vote him into power. Despite the awful job Cockmoron (slip of the hand) is doing ruling this land, somehow we feel like old Ed still just might make a bit of a widdle out of it. When will we give him a break?

His silly face and his even sillier vacant grin remind me of a red setter. He looks like he’s got those flailing hands some people have that knock over glasses of red wine onto white carpets that they were previously warned about. Dum dum Milliband (as he will be known around his family table, no doubt) gone did a typo in front of the whole entire multiverse, and now he looks a little bit like a racist under the right light if you squint a bit and really imagine that he is one. Admittedly when I read it I thought; “Hey, he’s gone all cutting-edge. He’s pseudo-politician. He’s poking fun at the Diane Abbot fiasco/horror/whatever and breaking through the fourth wall into his public’s living rooms. He understands that right now in these times of war and austerity what we need is humour. Good on him.”

Who am I kidding. No I didn’t. I pissed my pants laughing at it for three hours, and then I started dropping things and spilling my tea on my notepad on purpose just to use my new catchphrase “Oh fuck, I’ve Millibanded.” (Eight RTs so far on the old Twitter. Yep. Baby’s gonna be a star.)

Look, he's even doing a commemorative hand jive. Bless.

By making such a hilarious tit of himself live on everyone’s internet everywhere, he’s made me like him. I couldn’t give a shit about him before, but now he’s my favourite blundering arse of the political world. He’s endeared himself to me in exactly the same way a child would if it accidentally said “Can you cunt this up for me” in a restaurant. I almost applauded. Perhaps it’s so funny because “Blackbusters” sounds so much like “Bitch Hunter”, the fake TV show that keeps getting cancelled on NBC in 30 Rock. It’d have almost the same premise too if I’m not mistaken, however it’d take some explaining if it came on before the watershed. Or after the watershed. “Next, Blackbusters on the BBC, hosted by Bob Holness who sadly passed away this morning...Sorry, what? A show about what? He died? And we’re all laughing? Oh right, Twitter. Gotcha.”

Yes Ed, you’ve done a mistake. Facepalm. Actually, imagining Ed Milliband facepalming is hilarious in itself. Imagine that. Imagine him hitting his silly forehead with his silly hand. Hahahaha. Oh. Oh god. I’ve almost forgotten about that farcical racist murder trial, or that recession, or that guy that shot everything. Hahaha. He’s healing the world with laughter. Somebody make him the president of Wales or something for fuck’s sake.

1 comment:

Dudders said...

I wish you would stop passing all your problems onto Wales. We don't deserve this, Katie!

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